Getting glued to a toilet seat....

http://wjz.com/topstories/local_story_094080915.html

"A Fruitland man became stuck to the seat when he used the restroom early Sunday morning. When he yelled for help, other customers called 911. Paramedics took the man to the hospital and the seat was removed. " From the above link.

Ok so we had the Home Depot glue your ass to the toilet seat and now it's happened at a Denny's in Maryland.

How the hell does this happen? About the only place you could trick me into getting my ass glued to a toilet seat is in my own house.

I hate public restrooms and especially portable toilets. (I have seen too many internet vids of people having them tipped over while they are inside I guess). Anyway I'm not a hoverer either. Hoverers suck, they just leave it where it lies even if they missed... If I have to "release the chocolate hostages" so badly that I am in physical pain I will use a public toilet at that point.

Call me anal (no pun intended) or obsessive but I go into the stall, grab a bit of toilet paper, wet it and maybe even put soap on it and clean off the seat before I sit on it. I would hope most of you would at least wipe it off before you sit down. Think of the grossest nastiest person covered in lice and smelling of roadkill as being the person sitting on the toilet just minutes before you and maybe you would do the same.

I just can't understand plopping your bare ass down on a public toilet without at least wiping the old dingleberries and piss off.

Something makes me think these people just deserved to have a toilet seat surgically removed from their asses. This may become an epidemic, so before "backing the brown Cadillac out of the garage" or "Taking the Browns to the Superbowl" wipe the damn seat off, If the toilet paper is instantly glued to the seat that might be a clue.

Props to the euphemisms for "taking a shit" from my friend Pavlo McBeenis.