Optimism Pessimism and Me

Cliché

Optimist: The glass is half full

Pessimist: The glass is half empty

Todd: Anything good in that glass?



Police

Optimist: Police are here to protect me and help me with whatever I need

Pessimist: Police are here to keep me down and harass me

Todd: Police are here to make as much money as possible for the municipality they represent while watching for crimes that if handled could further their career and pay.



Religion

Optimist: says, "My cup runneth over, what a blessing."

Pessimist: says, "My cup runneth over, what a mess."

Todd says, "My cup runneth over, grab another cup so we don’t spill any more beer.”



Weather

Optimist: Notices the silver lining of the clouds.

Pessimist: Notices the clouds are about to dump horrible weather right on top of him

Todd: Just drove past both of them flipping them both off for looking at the fucking clouds instead of the road.



Sailing

Optimist: expects the wind to change

Pessimist: complains about the wind

Todd: has a wry smile on my face waiting for the look on someone’s face when they smell it



Doughnuts

Optimist: Sees the doughnut

Pessimist: Sees the hole

Todd: Didn’t bother examining it and just ate it.



Opportunity

Optimist: sees the opportunity in every difficulty

Pessimist: sees difficulty in every opportunity

Todd: sees an opportunity to create difficulties



Driving

Optimist: Knows the “Long green light” will stay green

Pessimist: Knows the “Long green light” will turn red

Todd: Hauls ass through the yellow light



First Aid

Optimist: already sees the scar over the wound

Pessimist: still sees the wound beneath the scar

Todd: wonders how the fuck he cut himself